


Strange Love

by hereruha



Category: Jrock, the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Drama, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Prostitution, Romance, Smut, Violence, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6905317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereruha/pseuds/hereruha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At some point he got used to such a lifestyle, and getting out of it turned out to be more difficult than he'd thought, his past catching up with him definitely not being of any help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker.

Ruki stared up at the ceiling, trying to make his moans sound as pleasurable as possible. He was tired of it, but he didn’t really have a choice here. This was his last customer for the night, once this was over, he would go home and have a nice, relaxing bath before hitting the bed.

In the beginning he enjoyed it. All the sex and the attention he received from rich men who were bored of their tedious life, who had enough of their wives who kept on nagging them to have more designer clothing, more jewellery, more money, yet less work to get more attention… These men needed a place to escape, someone to make them forget about it, and the small blond was the perfect person for this.

Hearing the man above him groan louder, he knew it would soon be the end. He threw his head back at one particular deep thrust, crying out in real pleasure this time, as his customer hit his prostate, for the first time that night.

The man, Takahashi something –Ruki always forgot his name for some reason–, was a businessman in his late thirties who had been lucky enough to be born in a family that ran an important real estate company. He had taken over the business when his father had decided to retire, which until now hadn’t been a mistake, but if he continued spending money on prostitutes, some of them being high-class ones, the old man would soon regret taking retirement.

The blond stared with half-lidded eyes at the businessman who slowly pulled out of him, taking off the condom and throwing it in the bin next to the bed, before falling on the bed next to him. Ruki scoffed and got out of the bed to quickly clean himself up in the bathroom, before putting his clothes back on. He couldn’t keep himself from scowling at the man when he noticed some marks on his chest. This was supposed to be a short session, no extras.

“I thought I had been clear, _no marking_ ,” he groaned, putting on his black leather jacket.

The dark-haired man chuckled, running a hand over his face as he finally came down from his high.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he replied, sitting up.

“Yeah? Well, it’s 10,000¥ more missing that you’ll have to explain to your wife,” shot back the blond, taking the other’s wallet to take out the bills.

The man growled but didn’t make any move to prevent the other from taking the money. He knew it was useless to argue with the small man here, he had met this prostitute a few times already, and today he had taken more than what they had agreed on. He had to pay more, although he would have to hide it from his wife. The excuse of going to the restaurant with some colleagues wouldn’t work forever.

“When will I be able to meet you again?” he asked, looking up hopefully at the blond man.

Ruki glanced at him sideways as he shoved the 45,000¥ in his small handbag.

“When I decide that you deserve it,” he answered, putting on his black hat, before walking out of the room.

He walked out of the five-star hotel they had been staying at and hailed a taxi, he didn’t want to stay outside for too long. This area was full of foreigners, most of them being businessmen in Tokyo just for a few days, but also rich tourists who didn’t mind spending a fortune on a hotel room. He could already hear a group of people coming in his direction, talking loudly and their sentences not exactly making sense. He didn’t turn around to look at them, he didn’t want to draw their attention.

Soon enough a taxi stopped in front of him and the door was opened. He was about to get in when he noticed someone standing next to him. He looked to his left and frowned as he locked eyes with a stranger.

“Do you mind sharing the taxi?” asked the man, smiling at him in a friendly way.

The blond quirked an eyebrow up, taking in the other’s appearance. The man definitely was a businessman, and a well-paid one, seeing that he was wearing a black suit that definitely looked like an Armani, his tie loosened around his neck. The man had long honey-blond hair, framing his face perfectly. He had hazel eyes, which boldly bore his stare. He looked familiar, yet Ruki couldn’t remember where he could have possibly met him. The impish smile that tugged at the corners of his bow-shaped lips was familiar too, though it reminded Ruki of someone he knew when he was a teenager, and he doubted that he would ever see that person again, especially that he didn’t want to have anything to do with that man anymore.

“We’re definitely not going to the same area, so yes, I do mind,” he groaned, getting in the car.

“And where are you going?” chuckled the man.

“That’s none of your business. I don’t share a taxi with a stranger, get yourself your own,” replied the blond, the door closing before the man could say anything else.

He took off his hat and gave the taxi driver his address, before finally letting his muscles relax. He ran his fingers through his hair, wincing slightly when he felt a few knots. He couldn’t stand it anymore, how men tried as much as possible to get him. That honey blond surely wasn’t any different, he might have been gorgeous in Ruki’s eyes, but this didn’t stop the small blond from despising him. It was four in the morning and he had dealt with six customers, he was too exhausted to even think of getting a new one. With his regulars he should just have stopped looking for new ones, but the more money he earned, the better it was.

He paid the taxi driver, thanking him at the same time for what he had done earlier. The man had seemed to notice how uncomfortable Ruki had been with the businessman’s behaviour, and when he had gotten the chance to, he had closed the door. If it weren’t for him, Ruki was quite sure he wouldn’t have been left alone.

The blond strode to his flat, humming softly as he reached his door. As he unlocked it he felt something tugging at his jacket. He was going to snap at the person when he noticed who it was. He crouched down to be at the little girl’s level and softly smiled at her.

“Ami, what are you doing here?” he asked, patting her head.

“Mama told me not to stay at home,” the seven-year-old girl replied.

“Is she at home?”

The raven-haired child only nodded, staring at the blond with her big, blue eyes. Ruki sighed, shaking his head and grabbing her hand, and made her follow him inside his flat. He told her to go to bed, that he would come back soon.

It wasn’t the first time Ami came to him in the middle of the night, or very early in the morning, saying that she couldn’t be at home because her mother had told her so. Ami’s mother, Hana, wasn’t a bad person, he couldn’t possibly judge her as they did the same thing, but the difference was that Ruki never invited customer to his place. He never even told them where he lived, and he didn’t even have a child to protect in his situation.

Hana was his age though, twenty-two, so he couldn’t really blame her for being so irresponsible. She was a teenage mum who hadn’t had the luck of having supportive parents, and she hadn’t had any other choice but to sell her body to possibly take care of her lovely, little daughter. She couldn’t count on the father, the guy being an exchange student she had hooked up with when she was in high school, and who had already left the country when she had been sure of her pregnancy.

Ruki ran a hand over his face and walked out the flat, _again_ , once he was certain Ami was asleep. He went to a door further in the hall and knocked, hoping that Hana would open up, but there was no answer. He grabbed the doorknob and frowned as he noticed the door wasn’t locked. He walked in, warily looking around. All the lights were on, but there was no trace of anyone, only Hana’s shoes in the genkan.

“Hana?”

He wasn’t sure it was a good idea to call out her name, but the silence made shivers run down his spine. A faint whimper made him rush to the bedroom. He opened the door but looked away instantly, feeling his eyes watering and gut twisting. He grabbed his phone and dialled the emergency services number, rushing out of the room.

“I’m definitely moving out of here,” he mumbled after the woman had been taken to the hospital.

“Can I ask you a few questions?”

He turned around, facing a police officer in his late forties, and shrugged.

“I don’t know anything. Her daughter came to me, telling me she couldn’t go home and I went to check on Hana, that’s all,” he uttered, feeling once again his stomach twisting in horrid as the images of the woman’s bruised and bloody body kept on appearing in his head.

“Do you know her well?” asked the police officer.

Ruki narrowed his eyes when he heard the patronising tone in the man’s voice. He was judging Hana without even knowing her. He probably thought that as a prostitute, she deserved being treated that way, but he knew nothing about her life.

“No, I only take care of her daughter when she’s busy, but that’s not often anyway,” replied the blond, feeling like he would snap at the man at any moment, which definitely wasn’t the right thing to do now.

He couldn’t say that he knew her well because that would only make the police officer suspect that he was a prostitute too. Even though Ruki was quite famous among prostitutes and people using their services, nobody really knew how he looked like besides his own customers and his friends. People would call on his other phone, the one he only used for this job, and he would decide whether he would meet them or not. He always made some research first of course, not wanting to end up with someone who couldn’t afford his services.

Ruki wasn’t the most expensive prostitute around here, but he definitely wasn’t the cheapest either. An hour with him cost 35,000¥, he wouldn’t go under, even if the meeting ended up lasting less than an hour. His customers knew the deal, that was the reason why Takahashi hadn’t tried or said anything when the blond had taken 10,000¥ more from him for marking him. The man had asked for pure sex, nothing more, nothing less, not even asking for a special kind of foreplay, so he only had to pay 35,000¥ normally, though he definitely hadn’t managed to control himself, losing more money.

“Where is she now?” frowned the officer, as a woman joined them.

“Sleeping at my place,” replied the blond, rolling his eyes at the stupid question.

“I’m the social assistant who’s in charge of this case, can you take me to her?” the raven-haired woman asked, smiling softly at Ruki.

The blond scrunched up his nose and nodded, leading her to his place. It was already past five now and he could feel he was going to faint from exhaustion at some point. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, he definitely was moving out to a better place.

“You’re one too, aren’t you?”

He glanced at the woman and ignored her, opening the door to his place and directly heading to his bedroom to wake up Ami.

“Sweetie, you need to wake up, someone is here to take care of you,” he whispered in the small girl’s ear, stroking her head.

The little raven-haired girl slowly stirred from sleep and blinked a few times, confused. The blond didn’t bother to explain what was happening, knowing that the social assistant knew better than him how to deal with this kind of situation. He stared at the child as she followed the woman outside of his place. He leant against the doorframe and waved at her, smiling sadly, as she looked at him one last time, waving back.

“Thank God I’m rid of them for good,” he groaned, closing the door once they were out of his field of vision.

He gave up on taking a bath, only removing his make-up, and directly stripped down to his underwear before sliding under the heavy duvet, sighing softly, a small smile stretching his full lips, as he could finally fully relax.

Later in the day Ruki would look for another place, not wanting to stay in this building any longer. He did like Hana and Ami, but there was a limit to his kindness, and it had been stepped on. He had built a shell over the years in order not to get touched by anything like this, but to see such a sweet girl in that state… Would she even make it out? Anyway, he would look for a better place, one where he was quite sure he wouldn’t meet any peer. He had the money after all, he had just wanted to save up as much as possible, wanting to create his own fashion brand someday.

He took his phone and texted the one person he trusted the most, telling him that he needed to find a new place to live, giving at the same time a short explanation as to why he wanted to move out. Ruki knew he would start looking without him, the other knowing the blond inside out, and that would only make things easier. He didn’t want to linger any longer here, knowing what had happened a few doors away.

He closed his eyes and basked in the warmth provided by his sheets. It was getting colder, November reaching its end and winter slowly setting in. He slowly drifted off, curling into a ball. He had a weird feeling, but sleepiness took him over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to write a fic with a prostitute!Ruki so much, other than DEPRAVITY for which I kinda lost any motivation, so here I am, with a new one! Tbh the pairings aren't set yet, they're probably going to change, and maybe not all of them will be present relationships, you'll see what I mean later.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this so far!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I'm shit at writing A/N but well... ahaha.~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.

He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing heavily. He had ended up sleeping until two in the afternoon, more than what he had planned. When he had woken up he had a text from his friend telling him to cancel all his plans for the night and to join him at his place. Ruki normally wouldn’t do that, but he actually didn’t feel like meeting with any of his customers, not after what he had just witnessed earlier. He wasn’t in the right state to satisfy his clients, so it maybe was better for him to just cancel.

The blond entered a building, trying as much as possible to keep himself from snorting when the caretaker greeted him. He made his way to the lift, his heels clacking in an even rhythm against the marbled floor of the hallway. He wasn’t sure he wanted to live in such a building when he thought about it. He wanted a nice and safe place with a certain kind of neighbours, but at the same time he knew that those also were the worst, people would start talking in his back, noticing how he was always out at night, getting back home in the wee hours.

The small man stared at his reflection in the mirrored walls of the lift. His friend had asked him not to dress up too much, so the blond had just ended up wearing some skinny jeans with a white shirt and a long, black cardigan. For the shoes however he still had chosen a pair of leather, black ankle boots with three-inch heels. He wasn’t sure he still had flat shoes, besides his sneakers for running. The blond shrugged and walked out of the lift when he was at the right floor. He quickly reached the right door and rang the bell, shifting from one foot to another.

Something was wrong, he could feel his stomach churning.

A brunet opened the door, making Ruki frown, but then he remembered that his friend now lived with his lover, something he never had thought would happen. He entered the flat, walking past the taller man, and took off his shoes. He didn’t reply when the other asked him how he was doing, he simply went to the living room, ready to ask his friend what was so important that he couldn’t tell him anything through the phone, but the sight he was met with made him freeze in his spot and drop his bag. He locked eyes with the man that was sitting on the couch, the other’s lips stretching into an all-too-familiar cheeky grin.

“Ruki, this is Uruha, a friend of Aoi’s,” said his friend’s boyfriend. “Uruha, this is Ruki, the one we were talking about.”

“Oh I know him, we met last night,” replied the honey-blond man, his eyes not leaving Ruki for a second.

The blond gritted his teeth and shook his head. He quickly grabbed his bag and rushed to the kitchen from where he had heard some noise.

“Aoi!” he yelled, storming into the room.

A longhaired man turned around when the small man walked in. His hair was partly brought up in a ponytail, black with a few blond strands. He widely smiled at the blond, but when he saw his friend’s face, he knew that something was wrong.

“What is it, Taka?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Who’s that man in the living room?” growled Ruki, closing the door behind him, not wanting the two others to hear them.

“Uruha’s a friend,” replied Aoi, tilting his head to the side, not sure what the problem was.

“Friend as in _former customer_?” spat the blond, glaring at the taller man.

The raven-haired man’s obsidian eyes widened in shock, not believing how venomous his friend sounded. Was the blond even aware of how this had sounded like an insult?

“No, Ruki. Friend as in someone I _trust_ and _respect_ , and vice versa,” retorted Aoi, folding his arms.

“Really? Because from what I know about him, he tried to get me in his bed last night,” said Ruki.

“Uruha, trying to get a prostitute?” the raven asked, incredulous, before bursting into laughter, shaking his head. “He doesn’t need to pay for sex, Ruki, people actually run after him,” he chuckled.

“Then why would he want to share a taxi with me? At such an hour, men who do that aren’t planning to just be friendly,” frowned the blond.

“Well, here’s an exception,” said Aoi.

Ruki stared at his friend, wondering if the other really knew who that Uruha was. The blond still felt uncomfortable, something was telling him to run away, to leave as soon as possible, but he had no idea why. Uruha was familiar, Ruki was pretty sure he knew the man, and it scared him. If Uruha was who he thought he was…

The blond shook his head, feeling his breathing getting uneven as the memories came back. He couldn’t let the situation get to him. He leant against the wall next to the door and tilted his head back, closing his eyes.

“Why did you want me here?” he asked, trying to calm his breathing down.

Aoi set four glasses on a tray, then poured some white wine. He could see that his little friend was sort of distraught, something definitely was wrong, but the raven-haired couldn’t pinpoint what. He knew most of Ruki’s life, the only thing the blond had kept secret was a part of his teenage years, and Aoi hadn’t pushed him to talk. The only thing he knew was that something had happened, and it was partly responsible for the life the blond led now. All he knew was that one night, when he was seventeen, Ruki had left his hometown, just after graduation, and since then, he hadn’t seen his family or old friends even once. He had lived on his own for five years, somehow managing to study and work at the same time.

“It’s about your request,” answered the raven.

The blond looked at his friend and cocked an eyebrow.

“Let’s just talk about it in the living room,” continued Aoi, taking the tray.

Ruki simply nodded, opening the door to let the other pass. He followed after him, looking warily over the raven’s shoulder. He really didn’t want to be around Uruha, but he couldn’t just ignore what Aoi had told him. If he had a place for the blond, then he would definitely stay to hear about it.

Uruha and Aoi’s boyfriend, whose nickname was Kai if Ruki remembered well –even though he knew the guy he always forgot about him–, were sitting opposite each other and chattering about seemingly trivial stuff. From what the small blond could see, the honey-blond man was quite at ease, obviously knowing Kai too. Thankfully the man had moved to an armchair, leaving the couch completely free for Aoi and Ruki to sit on.

As the blond took a seat, he slowly started regretting cancelling his meetings. He was losing money, he could just have told Aoi that it was impossible for him to come and then, the raven-haired man would just have sent him what he had, or called him. He maybe wasn’t sure about meeting his customers with what had happened to Hana, but he definitely was keener on having sex than having to deal with Uruha right now. The man was still gazing at him with this mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, making the blond slightly shift on the sofa.

“Can I know what’s going on now, Aoi?” asked Ruki, looking away from the tall man.

“Well, I asked people around me,” started Aoi, handing a glass to the blond. “And it appears that there’s an empty flat where Uruha lives, that’s why I wanted you two to meet.”

The younger man frowned and quickly glanced at the honey blond who was taking a sip of his wine. He then looked at Aoi who was sitting on the armrest of Kai’s armchair. The raven was smiling at him widely, but the blond could see that there was something hidden behind that smile. He knew Aoi well enough to distinguish those small signs, and right now, the man was worried. From what Ruki could make out, the raven was worried about the blond, he was worried that he had done something wrong by inviting Uruha over to make the two blonds meet. The blond put the glass on the coffee table after taking a sip and shook his head before smiling softly at his friend, trying to make it as reassuring as he could.

“I’ll tell you what I told Aoi,” said Kai, snaking an arm around Aoi’s waist.

Ruki’s gaze switched to him, confused.

“I think you shouldn’t stay at your place anymore, maybe go to a hotel or come stay here while you look for a new place,” continued the brunet.

The blond’s perfectly plucked and drawn eyebrows knitted together.

“Why would I do that?” asked Ruki, sounding more defensive than he thought he would.

“Ruki, don’t take Kai’s words badly, he’s just worried about your safety, the same way I am,” sighed Aoi, patting his boyfriend’s forearm.

“It’s a bit late to worry about me, Aoi,” retorted the blond, crossing his legs.

Ruki had been a prostitute for five years, worrying about his state only now was ridiculous. He knew how things worked in this world now, and he was careful enough so nothing would happen to him.

“Really now? Don’t you remember our first meeting?” asked the raven, gritting his teeth so he wouldn’t start yelling at the blond.

“I was young and didn’t know the city, nor the people or the job well,” replied the other, shrugging.

“Yeah? Well, I still remember you being pretty much beaten up,” retorted Aoi, balling his fists.

“Have you seen me in that state since then?” asked the blond, but the raven didn’t answer, he just looked away. “No, you haven’t. I learnt from my mistakes Aoi, and that’s why I wouldn’t get into a taxi with an unknown man at four in the morning,” he said, pointing at Uruha, who just stared at him, surprised. “That’s why I research my clients and only meet the ones with good reputations. I’m not an idiot, I’m not the lost puppy you took care of five years ago,” he snarled.

“You still are a kid! I get it, there’s something that hurt you, and maybe even destroyed you in the past, but Taka–”

“Don’t call me that!” he cut the raven off, standing up. “There are things you know aren’t supposed to be brought up, Aoi, you fucking know that. For you, for anyone, I started existing five years ago, get it? There’s nothing worth remembering from earlier times.”

Ruki clutched his cardigan, feeling that he was losing it.

“Did you tell Uruha what I am at least?” asked the blond, looking sideways at the honey blond.

Aoi looked down while Kai rubbed his back, glaring at Ruki from the corner of the eye, which made the blond shiver, making him calm down almost immediately. Most of the time Kai was a sweetheart with people, but Ruki knew from what Aoi had told him that the brunet could become pretty protective, sometimes almost violent, with people that hurt the raven. He was a loving guy, but he definitely had some issues in Ruki’s eyes. How could he be so over-protective of Aoi when the raven still used to work a few months ago, before the couple moved in together? He couldn’t fathom how the man had stuck around knowing that Aoi was somewhere in the city, with someone else, although for the past two years the raven had slowly stopped meeting his customers and had instead started working in a club as a performer, a dancer.

“I already had my doubts when I met you earlier, but right now I think it’s pretty clear,” answered Uruha.

The impish gleam in his eyes had disappeared and he looked awfully serious now, something the blond wasn’t sure he preferred.

“Then your offer isn’t available anymore, I guess,” said Ruki, looking at his nails that really needed a manicure.

“Why wouldn’t it be av–”

“Anyway,” interrupted the small man, waving his hand in a dismissive way. “I don’t want to end up in a place where gossiping is people’s hobby. I like the place I live at because people are discreet and don’t bother about their neighbours’ doings, and I clearly don’t want nosy bitches around me either.”

“Hana was beaten up, Ruki, you could be next,” whispered Aoi.

“I know, and you want the latest news?” huffed the blond. “She died.”

He knew he sounded heartless right now, but he didn’t want it to affect him, he didn’t want to break down in front of these three men. He had a mask, a shell, but sometimes that shell wasn’t enough to protect him from a few blows. Hana’s death was one of them. It wasn’t the first time something like that happened to someone he knew, and each time it would happen, it would make something inside of him crumble.

“I’m sorry Aoi, but this isn’t the right time to talk for me, no matter the subject,” sighed the blond, massaging his forehead.

“Are you going back home?” questioned the raven, standing up.

The younger man went to the genkan to put his shoes on.

“No, I need to forget everything for just a while,” replied the blond, running a hand through his hair.

“Ruki…”

He raised his hand, making the raven understand not to say anything more.

“I know what you think, I know you only want to help, but I’ve no control over this anymore.”

The taller man tilted his head to the side, lost. The blond bit his lower lip, looking in the way of the living room. He knew that Kai and Uruha could hear them, but what did he have to hide anyway? Aoi had settled down, he didn’t have anything to be ashamed of anymore, and Ruki didn’t really care anymore about what people he wouldn’t meet any time soon could think.

“I just can't anymore, Yuu,” murmured Ruki. “I might complain, but honestly, I somehow need the sex. It helps me forget.”

“How–”

“I’m good at faking emotions,” chuckled the blond humourlessly, cutting off his friend.

The raven shook his head before hugging the small man.

“I’m worried about you, Takanori. You really should take a break.”

“Yuu...”

“There’s a pattern, the guy who did this to Hana, he might go after you too,” whispered the man in the blond’s ear. “From what I've heard, she's not the first one.”

Ruki hugged him back, slightly rubbing his friend’s back.

“I’ll pay more attention, and I’ll warn the others too,” he said, breaking their embrace. “And I also need to know something else.”

“What is it?” frowned the raven, leaning against the doorframe once the blond had opened the front door.

“What is Uruha’s real name?” asked Ruki, feeling his gut twisting in dread.

Aoi smiled, blinking a few times, amused and confused at the same time by his friend’s sudden curiosity.

“Takashima Kouyou.”

The blond’s amber eyes widened as he gulped, his grip on his bag tightening.

He knew it. Those bow-shaped lips that seemed to ask to be kissed, most of the time stretched in a smirk, a sickening smirk; the hazel eyes, twinkling with a hint of mischief and provocation; the tall, slender, yet strong body… The hair colour might have changed, but he could pretty well imagine shoulder-length, chestnut-brown hair framing that flawless face, the high cheekbones…

“Ruki?” Aoi called out, worried by the sudden lack of response from his friend.

The blond snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at the raven, tears threatening to spill at any moment.

“I just…” he started. “I just need to go,” he managed to say, his voice hoarse, feeling a lump in his throat preventing him from uttering any other word, he could only whimper as he left the flat, running away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! I'm still actually wondering if I want to make this an angsty fanfic, but I really don't know, haha.
> 
> What do you think happened between Uruha and Ruki?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.

The blond rushed outside of the building, not paying attention to the couple that stared at him suspiciously while they walked in. He knew he shouldn’t have gone to Aoi’s place, he could feel it in his gut that it was a bad idea. Stumbling on the sidewalk, he hailed a taxi driving by and rushed inside. He somehow was scared that Aoi had followed him, or worse, Uruha. He knew he had looked pretty distraught when Aoi had told him Uruha’s real name, but he couldn’t control it.

He grabbed his head, groaning softly. How was it possible that in such a big city he could still come across **_him_**? This had to be some sort of joke. And how could Aoi be friend with someone like that? Admittedly, Ruki hadn’t told anything about his past to the raven, but his friend normally had good instincts. How couldn’t he feel that something was off about the honey blond?

The blond leant back in his seat and stared out the window, sighing. His life was in Tokyo now, he couldn’t start over elsewhere, not again. He should have expected Kouyou to move to Tokyo after graduating from Kanagawa University, but Ruki had still hoped the man would move abroad, he had studied in the United Kingdom before after all.

“Too good to be true,” he whispered, running a hand over his face.

Meeting a customer was impossible now, not after getting the confirmation that Uruha was none other than Takashima Kouyou. What surprised him, however, was that the honey blond hadn’t seemed to recognise him. Or did he just feign ignorance? It was possible too, Kouyou used to like games, this probably was just another one for him.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t you have something stronger?” groaned the blond, rejecting the glass the bartender had just offered him.

“This is what you usually get, Ruki,” replied the brunet with a frown.

“Well, tonight I need something stronger, Kazuki,” retorted the other, glaring at the other.

“All right,” sighed the bartender, preparing a new drink.

Ruki spun on his stool, looking around the nightclub. Going back home had been out of the question, just thinking about it made him feel sick, so after wandering around the area for over an hour, lost in his thoughts, he had decided to go to the nightclub where Aoi sometimes performed. Right now the stage was empty, hidden behind dark curtains, but he knew that there would be a show later on, like every Friday night.

“I don’t know what happened today, but it’s not like you to want to get drunk,” uttered Kazuki, loud enough so Ruki would hear him, but not enough so the other customers sitting at the bar would.

“Let’s just say a lot has been happening lately,” sighed the blond prostitute, taking the cocktail the pierced brunet was handing him.

The bartender looked around, then leant over the bar to be closer to the other.

“Is this about the girl that was beaten up?” he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

“Not just that,” replied Ruki, taking a sip of his drink, feeling the alcohol burn down his throat as he swallowed.

“Ru, you should be careful. Drinking might not be safe right now, especially not for someone of your profession,” whispered the pierced brunet.

The blond quirked an eyebrow up, scoffing.

“So you’d want me to go home?” he asked, staring incredulously at the other.

Kazuki gaped at him, shaking his head violently.

“Hell no, that’s not what I meant!” he rushed to explain. “It’s just that we have no idea who this guy is, none of you should be taking new customers or going around alone.”

“We’re being careful, Kazuki, don’t worry about that. I already messaged the others about what was going on, Aoi did too. Unfortunately we can only do so much. Like you said, we’ve no idea who that guy is, who knows, he might even already be one of our customers,” replied the blond prostitute, resting his arms on the bar.

“You should run another background check on your customers, just to be sure.”

“I appreciate your concern, but we got this,” smiled Ruki, patting the bartender on his left forearm. “Now, get me another one!” he said, pointing at his empty glass.

The other only shook his head, straightening up. The blond’s smile faltered as he looked down at his trembling hands. He could say whatever he wanted, the truth was that he was scared. He couldn’t imagine himself going back to his flat tonight, he knew that Hana’s murderer probably wouldn’t come back there, not with the police being around all the time, but Ruki couldn’t get the images of Hana’s body out of his head. Moreover, he now also had to deal with his past catching up with him, and he just couldn’t handle all this at the moment, it was too much for him.

He knew he had changed a lot, he didn’t quite look like he did as a teenager anymore, but he just couldn’t make himself believe that Uruha really hadn’t recognised him. Five years later, this was still all a game for him.

“That arsehole,” he muttered, emptying his fifth glass of whatever strong cocktail Kazuki made for him.

“The next drink is on me.”

The blond was startled by the baritone voice that uttered those words. He looked up at the stranger that had taken a seat next to him, his attention directly caught by the band the man had over his face.

Kazuki also eyed the newcomer suspiciously, but still went to prepare yet another cocktail for the small blond as well as the man’s own drink.

“What do you want?” groaned Ruki, his words slightly slurred. The alcohol was starting to get to him, whatever Kazuki was putting in those drinks had the effect the blond wanted.

“Nothing, really,” smiled the man, leaning his chin in his palm.

“As if,” snorted the prostitute, rolling his eyes.

The stranger only kept on smiling mysteriously at the smaller man. Ruki couldn’t stop himself from ogling the man, quite intrigued by his looks. Clad in black leather, his ash-blond hair was slicked back and his unusual grey eyes were framed with black eyeshadow. Ruki could very well imagine that the other was quite muscular, too, just by the way his jacket hugged his upper body.

“So, you’re going to refuse a free drink?” smirked the man.

Ruki cocked his head to the side, pretending to ponder over the idea, although it was obvious he wouldn’t say no.

“Well, if sir gave me his name…” trailed off the blond, a teasing smile stretching his plump lips.

“Of course,” chuckled the man. “But I’d like to know yours in return.”

“Ruki,” he quickly replied, taking the drink Kazuki presented him.

“Reita,” said the other, taking his own drink.

Ruki could feel the disapproving look Kazuki was giving him burn in the side of his head, especially after the conversation they had had not so long before. However, the blond prostitute couldn’t help how intrigued he was by the other. There was something familiar about him, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. And the more they talked, the more he felt it, a warm feeling spreading inside of him.

“Maybe you should stop there,” Reita said when Ruki ordered yet another drink. It probably was the tenth by now, considering he was already slightly intoxicated when the ash-blond man had arrived.

“Oh trust me, what I had wasn’t enough,” replied the other, although he could feel himself getting slightly lightheaded.

“What did he do to put you in such a state?”

“Excuse me?”

The prostitute stared at the other, bewildered.

“When I offered you the first drink, I heard you cursing,” explained Reita, drinking his tequila in one. “So, what did he do to you for you to want to get drunk?” he asked, shaking his head when Kazuki offered a refill.

“That’s none of your business,” grumbled the blond, laying his head on his arms.

“So I’m right, someone pissed you off.”

Ruki rolled his eyes. He might have been drunk, but he was still lucid enough to know when to stop talking, and right now he was getting annoyed by how pushy the other was getting.

“Right now you’re pissing me off, and that’s really not good, honey,” retorted the prostitute, staggering a bit as he stood up.

Reita raised an eyebrow, surprised by the term of endearment, which really sounded more like an insult at the moment. But he only smiled in response, knowing he might have pushed the other a bit too far. He slightly flinched when he felt Ruki’s hand grab his right thigh, then slowly move up to his crotch.

“I don’t believe you when you say you didn’t have anything in mind when you offered me this drink,” whispered Ruki in the other’s ear, stroking his crotch, feeling him getting hard. “Just don’t let Kazuki notice you following me,” he finished, licking the other’s earlobe before walking away, purposely swaying his hips, feeling the man’s eyes in his back.

Ruki knew very well that if Kazuki saw them leaving together, he would try to stop them. The blond really did appreciate his friend’s concern, but they couldn’t stop living just because a man had decided to go after prostitutes. It wasn’t the first time this happened, and it wouldn’t be the last time either. All they could do was keep an eye out for suspicious men, and then they would have to take care of the problem themselves. They couldn’t go to the police, the officer’s behaviour the previous night was enough for Ruki to know that the police wouldn’t help if they reported strange behaviour.

The blond sighed, opening the door to the bathroom, and flipped off the other man that had been in there. He just needed to get his mind off all this bullshit, and the best way he could imagine at the moment was Reita fucking his brains out.

 

* * *

 

“Your friend left?” asked Uruha, sipping on his drink.

“He’s not doing so well lately,” sighed Aoi, plopping down on the unoccupied couch.

The honey blond hummed in response, putting his empty glass down on the table. It was obvious the blond prostitute wasn’t in a good state, but it was the first time the honey blond encountered such hostility in years, and he could tell quite easily what it was that Ruki had been trying to hide with his behaviour: anguish.

“Did you try to hook up with him, Uruha?”

The man looked up at the raven, raising an eyebrow at the question. Why was he asking that all of a sudden?

“Ruki told me you tried to get in the same taxi as him last night and that he suspected you of wanting to take advantage of the situation,” explained the raven, staring suspiciously at his friend. “I know how you can be. I told Ruki that you weren’t that kind, but we both know how you really are. So, I ask again, did you try to hook up with him last night?”

Uruha leant back in the armchair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Who knows?” he chuckled, a hint of provocation in his voice.

He knew he was playing with fire right now, but he wanted to know more about that man, and one way was to just make Aoi spill the beans by provoking him.

“I’m not joking here, Uruha, did you? He literally bolted when I told him your name, which makes me wonder what you did to him,” growled the raven, glaring at the honey blond.

“How would I know?” frowned the other. “It was my first time seeing him, and you know what happened just like me, he went home in a taxi, **_alone_**.”

He really had no idea how the blond prostitute could have known him by his real name, only his closest friends and people he worked with knew it.

“Aoi’s just trying to protect Ruki here, Uruha,” intervened Kai, glancing at both men who seemed to have engaged in a glaring competition. “They've known each other for five years, and he’s been through a lot in this short amount of time, Aoi just cares for him. Moreover, I’m pretty sure Ruki’s hiding something about his past.”

“How is that my problem?” sighed Uruha, shaking his head. “Yes, I thought it would be nice to hook up with him, but it **_didn’t_** happen. He went home and found a dead corpse,” he said with a shrug. “Honestly, I think it might have been better for him to spend the rest of the night with me. He’s a prostitute for fuck’s sake, not a saint!”

“That doesn’t make him less of a human being,” exclaimed the raven, standing up, hitting the table at the same time and knocking over Uruha’s glass.

“I didn’t say it did, Aoi,” retorted the honey blond, catching the glass before it fell on the ground. “What I meant is that you act like he’s a kid who has no idea what he’s doing, but he’s not that innocent.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Really now?” groaned Uruha in frustration, rolling his eyes.

“When he came to Tokyo he barely had enough to last him for a month, he was already practically living on the streets when I met him. He was a mess, you’ve no idea how much,” uttered the raven, towering over the other. “It took us three years to get him to open up, even just a little, and still now, he doesn’t trust us. He doesn’t even trust me, not enough to tell me why he’s so wary of people, why he doesn’t believe people can be good. He doesn’t let anyone in, even those who helped him when he was at his worst.”

The honey blond stared at his friend, clearly unimpressed. Had Aoi really not seen through the small blond’s facade after _**five**_ years?

“He’s scared, Aoi, that’s why,” simply said the man.

The raven stared at the other, dumbfounded.

“I don’t know how you haven’t seen that if you’ve been around him for so long,” continued the honey blond. “All this hostility, the distance he sets between him and others, it’s all to hide that he’s scared. Don’t ask me what scares him so much, but it’s pretty obvious something happened to him.”

Kai grabbed Aoi’s right hand, forcing him to sit back down. The brunet knew that what the honey blond was saying made sense, he just hoped his boyfriend would see it.

“I don’t know why he reacted that way to my name,” sighed Uruha, standing up, grabbing the cardigan he had taken off not long before Ruki’s arrival. “I never did anything to him, I only met him last night. And yes, I can be an arsehole, Aoi, but I wouldn’t force myself on someone,” he ended, walking to the genkan to put his shoes on.

Aoi heaved a sigh, following the taller man.

“Uruha, I didn’t mean to–”

“My offer still stands, if he wants the flat, he can have it,” cut him off the honey blond, opening the door. “Don’t contact me for anything else,” he ended, walking out.

The raven stood in the doorway, staring at his friend who was walking away. He might have been a bit too aggressive with Uruha, he had to admit it, but he just couldn’t figure out what it was that had made Ruki look so horrified, it seemed like the blond had seen a ghost.

 

* * *

 

“ _ **Fuck**_ , Ruki,” moaned Reita, his fingers tangled in the other’s hair.

The blond prostitute smirked as he moved back before giving a long lick to the underside of the other’s member, his right hand already preparing himself for what was yet to come, while the left one was fondling Reita’s testicles. He slowly took all of him in again, staring right in the other’s eyes. Relaxing his throat and bracing his left hand on the wall against which Reita was leaning, Ruki let the other fuck his mouth, revelling in the moans that left the ash blond’s lips, himself moaning around the hard flesh. However, it didn’t last long before Reita stopped, harshly yanking him away from his cock.

“Stand up,” he ordered.

Ruki sensually licked his lips as he slowly got to his feet. He barely had time to straighten up that Reita pushed him against the other wall, crashing his lips against his, nibbling at the prostitute’s plump lower lip, asking for access, which Ruki granted him, circling his arms around the other’s neck, tangling his fingers in the soft ash-blond hair. Their tongues fought for dominance until they were both panting for air, Ruki closing his eyes and tilting his head back against the wall, barely noticing the tearing of a condom wrapper.

“Turn around.”

The prostitute obliged with a smirk, bracing his hands against the wall and spreading his legs. He felt Reita’s hands on his cheeks, kneading them before spreading them. The smaller blond moaned in anticipation, feeling the other’s lips in his nape, kissing and nipping the pale skin. He was about to whine for more when the ash-blond man swiftly penetrated him, the small blond whimpering at the sudden overwhelming sensation of being filled.

“ _ **Fuck**_ ,” he groaned, feeling the other draw back, then snap his hips forward.

Reita grabbed Ruki’s hips, setting a quick pace, his teeth digging in the skin of the other’s left shoulder, the lewd sound of skin slapping filling the room only arousing them more.

“ _ **Harder!**_ Come on, fuck me harder!” he moaned, hearing the other groan.

Pushing back against the other, all Ruki could think about right now was how good it felt to have Reita pounding into him, each thrust harder than the previous one, making him scream at the top of his lungs as his sweet spot was abused, and how good it felt to have the other’s fingernails dig in his hips, without a doubt leaving some bruises. This probably was one of the best fucks Ruki had had in a long time, his customers usually not caring about his pleasure.

A whine escaped his lips when he felt the other pull out, but he didn’t have time to protest as he was quickly turned around and picked up, his back hitting the wall, while Reita penetrated him once again. Ruki wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, forcing him to lean down so he could kiss him again, moaning into his mouth when the ash blond found his prostate again. His back was starting to hurt as each thrust made him hit the wall behind him, but he couldn’t care less, especially when he felt one of Reita’s hands wrap around his throbbing erection, slowly stroking it.

A string of curses left his lips when he came, harshly biting down on the other’s exposed collarbone, his inner muscles clenching down on the other’s cock, bringing Reita over the edge, too.

 

* * *

 

Sitting on the bed of his hotel room, right next to a floor-to-ceiling window, Ruki stared down at the business card Reita had given him, willing his hands to stop shaking, although it was useless. He threw it on the ground, tears blurring his vision.

“What the fuck did I do to you!?” he choked, looking up at the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess nobody thought I would update this, right? I'm actually planning on updating a lot of my older fanfics, in particular Kuchizuke as it's very close to its ending. I just need to find my muse for it!
> 
> Also, I never struggled so much writing smut, I swear at some point I thought about actually deleting it, and I'm still not happy with it, but well, what can I do? *shrugs* I guess I'm a little rusty, haha, I need to train a bit. This chapter also turned out a lot longer than I thought, with kind of more information than planned, but it's all right.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.

He leant against the floor-to-ceiling window, taking a drag of his cigarette, ignoring his personal phone ringing for the nth time. He knew who it was, there only was one person who would call him so insistently, but the blond didn’t want to talk to him for the moment. As much as it was childish of him, especially in the current situation with a killer on the loose, Ruki just couldn’t make himself talk to Aoi, and it had been over a week already. Discovering Reita’s real name had been the final straw. Since then he had barely left his hotel room in one of those luxurious hotels in Roppongi, he had cancelled all of his appointments with customers, only saying that he felt unwell when some of them asked for a reason, and had then thrown his professional phone somewhere in a drawer. He didn’t want to have to deal with anything at the moment, he didn’t want any human contact.

He groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. As much as recognising Kouyou should have been a piece of cake for him, nothing in Suzuki Akira reminded Ruki of the man he knew in the past. The small blond had never seen Akira with another hair colour than black or brown, he also had never seen him wear contact lenses or makeup for anything else than a Halloween party, and definitely had never seen him with a ridiculous cloth covering his nose. Akira had completely changed, nothing in the man calling himself Reita reminded the prostitute of the college student he used to know.

Both Kouyou and Akira were people Ruki would have rather left in the past, although the blond didn’t exactly have the same kind of memories when it came to those two. It pained him to think about them both, but for different reasons. Akira wasn’t exactly a bad person, like any college student he fooled around, but it was nowhere near what Kouyou did. Akira had harmless fun, he didn’t manipulate people, he didn’t make it sound all right to sleep with strangers because _“that’s what a lover does to make his partner happy”_ , in exchange of money of course, he didn’t throw people away like trash when something turned out badly. Actually, Akira might have had no idea about what had happened to Ruki back then, the small blond had cut ties with everybody before anything worse could happen, if that was even possible. Ruki didn’t think Kouyou had told anything to Akira either, the honey blond probably wouldn’t have wanted to risk losing his best friend after already losing his **_toy_**. Ruki couldn’t say he was completely innocent, but to a certain extent he had no idea what to think anymore, blinded by his feelings for Kouyou; his wake up call had been when he had woken up in a hospital bed, having no recollection of what had happened to him.

It wasn’t for nothing that Ruki had cut ties with his friends and family, leaving his hometown, changing his name as well as his appearance. However, he didn’t think Kouyou and Akira wouldn’t recognise him, those two had been around him so much for so long, no matter how much he changed he thought they would always recognise him. Although he was no one to talk, he hadn’t recognised them either, even if he had had a bad feeling about Uruha since he had met him that night, over a week ago. The same way, the warm feeling Ruki had felt around Reita the moment they had begun talking should have been a hint as to who the ash blond could have been. Ruki didn’t feel comfortable around many people, let alone complete strangers.

A part of the prostitute was happy that he had seen Akira again after five years, but another part of him dreaded meeting him again, dreaded Akira’s reaction when he’d learn who Ruki really was, and what he did for a living. Akira wasn’t really one to judge, he was quite open-minded, but Ruki knew the other would have a hard time understanding why and how Ruki had ended up in this position, or at least, the Akira Ruki knew in the past would.

Now he wondered if those men still were the same as before. There was this glint in Uruha’s eyes, the same as years ago, but there also was something different about him. Ruki still felt sick just thinking about the honey-blond man, but he couldn’t deny that Uruha gave off a slightly different vibe, perhaps more mature, than his younger self. However, Ruki couldn’t rely on that feeling, especially that Uruha still hid behind that sickening smirk of his. Moreover, the prostitute still had a hard time believing that the man really hadn't recognised him. He knew he couldn’t keep on living this way, in fear of coming across people from his past, but he didn’t want to bear out what they’d all ended up thinking about him.

He sighed and stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray that lay next to him on the ground before standing up, rubbing his hands over his cold arms. He glanced at his phone and the business card that lay on his bedside table, shaking his head. He was tempted to call Reita, but he knew he shouldn’t, he wasn’t even sure he wanted the ash-blond man to know who he really was.

He took his phone, staring at all the notifications of missed calls, frowning when he saw an unknown number among all of Aoi’s calls. Who could possibly have found his personal number? His thumb hovering over the screen, he heaved a sigh, shaking his head. _You’re going to regret this_ , he thought, dialling the number.

“Hello?”

The small blond’s breath hitched when he heard the other’s voice. How the hell had **_he_** gotten his number?

“I guess you’re wondering how I found your number,” chuckled the man on the line. “I’ve heard people say that a certain person had cancelled his appointments, so I guessed you wouldn’t pay attention to your professional phone.”

“This doesn’t explain how you got this number, Uruha,” replied Ruki through gritted teeth, clenching on his phone. “None of my clients have it, so how the hell did you get it?”

“I’m well connected,” simply answered the other.

The prostitute rolled his eyes, sitting on his bed and grabbing his pack of cigarettes.

“Why did you call me?” sighed the blond, lighting another cigarette.

“The offer still stands, if you want the flat, you can have it,” explained Uruha.

“And I already said that I wasn’t–”

“Bullshit,” cut him off the honey blond. “You can act all tough if you want, but I’m pretty sure you don’t feel safe in your flat anymore, not with a friend murdered down the hall.”

“What makes you think that I’m looking for safety? Being a prostitute never was safe,” retorted Ruki, trying as much as possible not to snap at the other.

“You really want me to believe that you cancelled all your appointments because you’re unwell, as you say?” snorted the business man. “I know you’re scared, maybe not of that Jack the Ripper wannabe, but there’s something.”

Ruki breathed in heavily. Uruha had seen right through him on that point, but what he hadn’t picked up on was that the small blond was scared of **_him_**. Uruha had managed to get his personal number, what else could he possibly have found? Ruki could feel his stomach churn in dread, but at the same time, his brain was telling him that he couldn’t forever live in fear of the other. It had been five years, he couldn’t let Uruha have so much power over him, not anymore. He wasn’t a lovesick, impressionable teenager anymore.

“I’m not interested in living in the same building as you,” ended up replying the prostitute, stubbing out his cigarette in another already full ashtray.

“Why is that?”

“You, out of all people, should know why, **_Kou-chan_** ,” growled Ruki, deliberately using the other’s nickname.

He heard something break on the other side, maybe a cup, and then Uruha cursing. He slowly stood up, taking a bottle of water out of his mini-fridge. If he wanted to completely get over what had happened in the past, he knew he’d have to face Uruha, running away and hiding wasn't an option anymore.

“How do you–”

“You really didn’t recognise me? You’re actually going to try to make me believe that?” cut him off Ruki, scoffing in disbelief.

“Takanori?” asked Uruha, clearly sounding like he had been taken by surprise by the other.

“Who else?” replied the blond, rolling his eyes, walking around the room.

“But you don’t look like–”

“No joke, I don’t look like I used to. Whose fault is it?” spat the prostitute.

The honey blond stayed silent, perfectly aware of how responsible he was for everything that went downhill in Ruki’s life.

“I don’t want to talk to you, Kouyou. I don’t want to have anything to do with you,” Ruki uttered after letting out an exasperated sigh, pacing around the room. “You fucked up my life once, I won’t let you do that again.”

“Taka…”

“I loved you, you know? I really did, more than anything, and you took advantage of that, you used my feelings against me, you fucking **_ruined_** me,” growled the small blond.

His eyes widened when he heard the other laugh.

“You loved me? Taka, please,” scoffed Uruha. “You just wanted my money.”

“I didn’t give a shit about your bloody money,” snapped the blond. “I didn’t ask for anything that happened to me back then, especially not the last few months of our relationship. If I had known what kind of person you really were, never would I have fallen in love with you,” he choked on the last words, tears burning his eyes.

“About that, I–”

“It fucked me up so badly. Your words stuck with me for so long, you’ve no idea. I’m just a whore after all, aren’t I? That’s all I’m good at, getting fucked,” spat Ruki, letting himself fall on the ground. “My parents disowned me, that’s how ashamed they were to have me as their son.”

He rubbed his eyes, hating how this was getting to him.

“I guess you were right about me, you got the confirmation now.”

“Taka, just let me talk for a second,” sighed the honey blond.

“So you can gloat?” retorted Ruki, his throat hurting from how he tried to contain his sobs.

“No,” replied Uruha. “So I can actually apologise.”

“Are you fuckin–”

“I know I can’t change what happened back then,” continued the business man, interrupting the other. “I was an arsehole, I didn’t respect you, I used you, and all I can do now is apologise for my former behaviour. I was no angel, but I got better, I grew up. And you can blame me all you want if that makes you feel better, but you know just like me that you weren’t completely innocent.”

“This doesn’t sound like an apology to me,” grumbled Ruki.

“I can apologise for everything you want, but you won’t make me believe my name didn’t attract you at first.”

“If I had known you had so little respect for human beings, I definitely would have run the other way when we met,” retorted the blond.

“Did you really expect a college student to take a teenager seriously?” scoffed Uruha.

“Aki did,” whispered the prostitute.

“You really want to go down that road?” asked the honey blond after what felt like forever. “Because there’s a lot to say about your relationship with Akira, too.”

Ruki sighed, knowing that no matter how much he tried to deny what Uruha said, there actually was some truth to it. Had Uruha’s name been a factor in Ruki’s attraction to the man? To a certain extent, he guessed it had been, but it wasn’t like his parents didn’t have any money, so in the end it didn’t matter all that much. It was mostly the thrill of dating an older guy that had gotten to his 15-year-old self. After all, most of his friends dated people of their age, they didn’t date 23-year-old guys.

“Apologising won’t change anything, Kouyou,” finally said Ruki, staring blankly into space. “It happened, and here we are now. You, still filthy rich and probably running your own company, and me coming to terms with the fact that I’m a somewhat high-class prostitute and wannabe designer.”

“Somewhat high-class prostitute? You’re staying at the Grand Hyatt, at this point I wonder if you don’t actually earn more than me.”

Ruki’s eyes widened, his breath stuck in his throat, while Uruha cursed under his breath.

“How do you know where I’m staying?”

“I might have asked for your location, too, when I asked for your phone number,” muttered the honey blond.

The blond prostitute stood up, shaking his head.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to achieve here, Kouyou, but I don’t want to have anything to do with you, are we clear? Go on with your life and let me live mine, it definitely was more peaceful when I didn’t know you lived in the city too,” said Ruki. “You want to know what scares me if it’s not that killer? It’s you, **_you_** scare me.”

Ruki didn’t let the other reply, hanging up on him. He knew the honey blond had asked for more, there was no way he would content himself with a simple number. And that apology? God, there was no way the blond would buy it. The time for apologies was over, they wouldn’t change anything now. He knew he had to face his ‘demons’, but this conversation already had taken a toll on him, flashbacks from their years together coming back to him.

“Just leave me alone,” groaned the prostitute, rubbing his temples.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit did my muse not want me to write for this. I think I was stuck at 800 words for like 3 days.
> 
> Anyway, say hi to some revelations (I guess?)! It's pretty hard to decide how much I want to let you guys know in one chapter, but this isn't supposed to be a super long fanfic (at least that's what's planned) so a lot is going to be revealed in the following chapters too. (Akira for example, haha)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I can't tell when I'll update next because I've a huge homework for a German class and it's gonna take all my time in the following weeks, but I'll still do my best to write!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.

_“Ruki, please, answer your phone!”_

The blond stared blankly ahead, his grip tightening on his phone while he listened to the woman cry on the other end, panting as she seemed to be running, the sounds of her heels clacking on the ground almost deafening to the blond’s ears.

_“I didn’t think it was him, but–”_

The man closed his eyes, clenching his teeth, when he heard her trip and fall.

_“Please! I haven’t done anything to you!”_

He barely heard the ear-splitting scream that left the woman before the voicemail message ended. He let his phone drop on the bed and grabbed his head, willing himself not to cry. This message was two days old, _**two days**_. Cutting himself from the outside world had ended up with one of the girls being murdered, **_again_**. Moreover, this wasn't the first message she left him. There was another one, from a week ago, in which she asked if it was possible for the two of them to meet. She had kept on calling him, but Ruki hadn’t bothered to check his professional phone until now. This also explained why Aoi had suddenly started calling him again all the time yesterday morning.

The prostitute stood up, running his fingers through his soft blond curls. He threw on his leather jacket, put on his hat and grabbed his clutch bag. He then picked up his personal phone from his nightstand and dialled Uruha’s number, having a hard time believing he really was doing this.

“Ruki, I didn’t expect you to call me so soon.”

“Shut up Uruha, don’t sound so smug,” groaned the blond, walking out of his hotel room.

“All right,” said the businessman, although Ruki could still hear him muffling a chuckle. “Why are you calling me?”

He breathed in heavily as he stepped into the lift.

“Can we meet?” he finally asked, staring at the digits above the door decreasing.

“Right now?” asked the honey blond, sounding slightly surprised.

“Yes.”

The blond walked out of the lift, barely smiling at the receptionist in the lobby who wished him a good morning, although it was almost midday. He could hear Uruha rummaging through things on the other end.

“I guess we can meet for lunch,” replied the honey blond.

“Text me the address and I’ll meet you there,” said the prostitute before hanging up.

As scared as he was of Uruha, the whole matter with the serial killer was starting to scare him even more. Kyoko was closer to him than Hana, they even did some jobs together, and now she had been murdered. Moreover it seemed like she knew who the killer was from before already, which meant that he could very well be someone Ruki knew too.

A chill ran down his spine when that thought crossed his mind. There was no way he was getting back to work with that possibility, he wasn’t risking his life just to satisfy the sexual desires of some cheating arseholes who might as well be serial killers.

 

* * *

 

“Well, I had expected something fancier from a CEO,” said Ruki, sipping on his wine.

“I don’t eat in 3-star restaurants all the time, it would get boring,” replied Uruha, relaxing in his chair, sitting across the table, his eyes set on Ruki.

“This isn’t exactly cheap either though,” snorted the prostitute, looking around the Italian restaurant.

The honey blond faintly smiled, taking in the other’s appearance. Ruki wore black high-waisted tight jeans with a black crocodile skin belt, a wine red shirt tucked in his trousers, and a black leather jacket over it. He had taken off his hat, revealing his soft blond curls, the dark roots making the businessman wonder if it was on purpose or if the prostitute had to bleach his hair again. However, seeing how well put together the other was, even his makeup was on point with a perfect eyeliner line and dark red lips, the older man guessed it was all on purpose. The prostitute also had left the top buttons of his shirt open, revealing his pale skin and several gold necklaces hanging around his neck, matching his rings.

“You’re not getting any of this.”

Uruha snapped out of his daze, locking eyes with the other’s amber orbs.

“I know men like you, and I know **_you_** ,” said Ruki, staring at the other dead in the eye with a blank face. “Don’t think this means anything. Sitting here with you, alone, asks a lot more energy and self-control than you could ever imagine.”

The taller man only nodded, knowing that no matter what he said, it wouldn’t change anything. He politely smiled at the waitress that brought their plates, noticing from the corner of the eye that the blond prostitute completely ignored the girl, checking his perfectly manicured nails. Uruha would have made a comment to the other about his quite rude attitude if he hadn’t caught the way the waitress looked at the shorter blond. It was pretty obvious that she was wondering what someone like Ruki did in a restaurant like this, with Uruha nonetheless, but the businessman –who was a regular customer here– decided to let it slide. He was pretty sure the small blond had to deal with people like that quite often, the prostitute probably would handle this better than the honey blond would.

“You really had to order for me?” asked Ruki, sounding slightly annoyed as he pouted, which directly caught Uruha’s attention.

“Trust me, you’ll like this,” replied the honey blond, shaking his head at how childish the other acted.

“Sure,” said the other, rolling his eyes as he put down his glass of wine and took a fork.

Ruki tried to ignore the way the other still had his eyes on him, looking down at his risotto, although he himself had a hard time not looking at the businessman. Uruha had changed, the lanky college student Ruki knew years ago was gone.

The honey blond had taken off his blazer and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, his muscled and veiny forearms catching Ruki’s eye directly, which had been like a kick in the guts for the blond. Uruha had always been attractive, even when he was more skin and bones than muscles, but now he exuded confidence in a way he didn’t in the past, and he looked a lot more mature and manly, too. The prostitute wished he could confidently say that he didn’t feel attracted to the other, not even one bit, but that would be a lie. Of course he still feared the man, but he hadn’t forgotten about the conclusion he had come to the week before; he had to overcome this fear. The first step was meeting with the man.

“So, why did you want to meet me?” asked Uruha.

“I guess you heard about what happened two days ago,” uttered the prostitute, looking away as he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

The honey blond took a mouthful of risotto, staring at the other. Of course he knew about that prostitute who had been murdered, he probably even knew before the media did.

“Indeed, I heard about it,” he replied, grabbing his glass of wine.

“I know what I said last week,” started Ruki, looking up at Uruha. “And it’s still true, I’m still scared of you. However…” the blond gulped, his hands slightly shaking. “I need a safe place to live in, and I can’t forever stay at the hotel,” he said, his words a mere whisper.

Uruha knew it wasn’t the moment to be cocky about this considering Ruki was finally accepting some sort of help, so he swallowed his pride, nodding slowly before taking a sip of wine.

“You want the flat?”

“It’s a safe area, right?” asked the prostitute.

“It is, and we have a security team too, you can’t really find anything safer than that,” answered the honey blond, smiling.

“Then I think it’s for the best for me to move in there.”

 

* * *

 

“Ruki?”

The blond was taking his last bite of risotto when he heard someone calling him. Looking up, his eyes widened in shock when he realised who was standing only a few steps away from their table. He opened his mouth, trying to find something to say, but he was at a loss for words, especially when he caught from the corner of the eye the look Uruha was giving him.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, especially not with…” the ash blond trailed off, now looking at Uruha.

Ruki glanced at Uruha, not quite sure what was going on, but from the way Uruha’s grasp on his glass of wine seemed to have tightened, it definitely wasn’t good news.

“You know Reita, Ruki?” he asked, his gaze hardening.

The prostitute’s heart clenched, those smouldering eyes bringing back memories from his teenage years. However, he didn't let it show and just leant back in his chair, cocking his head to the side.

“I do, is there a problem?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. “You know you’re not the only rich guy I know.”

The honey blond scoffed, shaking his head as he put down his glass and crossed his arms over his broad chest.

“He’s just very possessive,” said Reita, smirking at Uruha as he laid a hand on Ruki’s shoulder.

The smaller blond frowned, feeling a chill run down his spine when he made eye contact with the business man again. Uruha definitely was as possessive as he used to be, it was a fact, and they weren’t even together anymore. He felt Reita’s hand sliding to his neck, then up his jaw, until–

“Akira? Are you coming?”

The hand was gone from Ruki’s lips in a second.

“Call me some time,” whispered the ash blond in Ruki’s ear before he walked away, joining the woman who had just called him.

The prostitute stared at the pair, his confused frown slowly turning into disbelief as he witnessed the ash-blond man put a hand on the dark-haired woman’s hip and dip his head down to softly kiss her on the lips.

“His girlfriend, they’ve been together for three years,” said Uruha, noticing the mix of shock and disbelief on Ruki’s face. “She’s quite impatient to get a ring, but little does she know that he fucks around behind her back.”

Ruki’s head snapped to the side at that information.

“And I’m guessing you two fucked recently,” continued the honey blond, snorting.

The blond closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. He couldn’t believe it, this had to be some sort of nightmare.

“We’ve all changed, Taka,” sighed Uruha, looking at his watch. “You, Akira, me… We’ve all changed, we’re not who we used to be five years ago.”

“But, Akira…” started the prostitute, staring at his now-empty glass of wine.

“I guess it had to feel good, finally getting screwed by him, huh?” cut him off the other as he stood up, putting on his blazer.

Ruki gritted his teeth, glaring at the honey blond.

“Honestly? Yeah, it felt amazing,” he spat, standing up too. “So much better than you, I came so hard, you can only wish for this to happen with you.”

“Really now?” frowned the honey blond.

“You asked, I’m just being honest,” retorted Ruki, putting on his hat.

“I’ll be honest too, then,” said Uruha after paying the bill.

They walked out of the restaurant, Ruki getting ready to walk away from the businessman, but the taller man grabbed his arm, dragging him to the car park. The blond tried to get away, hitting the other with his free hand, but he wouldn’t budge.

“You need to be careful,” said Uruha, slamming Ruki against the side of a big luxury car, trapping him between his arms. “I’m not joking when I say we changed, and Akira is not who he used to be.”

“And whose fault might that be?” growled the prostitute, trying to push him away.

“Blame me all you want, I know what I did was wrong, but that doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t trust him right now,” retorted the honey blond, still hovering over the smaller man.

“I don’t think he’s any worse than you were back then,” snapped Ruki.

The honey blond stared at the other, speechless.

“See? You can’t even say anything against that! Akira might have changed, but he’ll never be as bad as you were, _**never**_ ,” uttered the blond, slapping the other on impulse.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for Uruha to slam him against the car again before crashing their lips together, one arm snaking around his waist to hold him still, trapping Ruki’s arms between their chests, and cupping the prostitute’s face wit his free hand. A small moan escaped the smaller blond’s lips when he felt the other bite on his lower lip, making him give access to his tongue. He felt like he was going insane, those plush lips against his making him want to melt in the other’s arms, but at the same time making him want to run away. This whirlwind of emotions was making him feel light-headed. Yet, against all better judgment, he managed to slip his arms out of the trap that was their chests, wrapping them around the other’s neck while Uruha lifted him up by grabbing on his thighs, their kiss deepening. The small blond was lost in all the sensations he was going through, turning into a moaning mess, barely noticing that one of Uruha’s hands had moved up to his bottom, his grip on the smaller man tightening, their kiss getting wilder, a mix of tongues fighting for dominance and their teeth clashing and biting, Ruki’s fingers deeply tangled in the other’s honey blond locks.

A whistle made them stop, Ruki only then coming back to his senses.

“He’s got it bad for you.”

His eyes widened when he noticed it was Reita who had made the comment, an arm wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, who looked like she was going to explode by how red her face was.

“Aki, let them be,” she murmured, looking away.

“Honey, stay out of it.”

Uruha slowly let go of Ruki, glaring at the couple, or more like at the ash-blond man, although he still let a small smirk spread his now red-stained lips, looking haughtily at the other.

“Jealous, **_Ue-chan_**?” he asked, wrapping an arm over Ruki’s shoulders.

Ruki directly caught on the childhood nickname, although it didn’t seem to please Reita to hear it considering how the ash blond grimaced.

“Fuck off, _**Shima**_ ,” he growled, walking away, forcing his girlfriend to follow, telling her to stop asking questions as she didn’t seem to know why Uruha would call her boyfriend that way.

Ruki shrugged off Uruha’s arm and crouched down to pick up his hat. He sighed heavily as he shook his head, not quite sure how he could have let this happen. Making out with Uruha definitely wasn’t part of his plans, nor getting caught by Reita while doing it.

“What the hell happened between you two?” he asked, putting his hat back on.

Uruha ran a hand through his disheveled hair, heaving a sigh.

“You happened,” he replied, locking eyes with the smaller man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maaaan I'm on a roll! I've been writing a lot lately (to my standards that is!)  
> Soooooo, what do you think, huh? Honestly, I wasn't exactly planning on this to happen at the end, but then... I just have some very strong Uruki feels so.. Why the hell not, right?  
> There's still a lot to be explained though, as I added even more background stories to those three, haha.
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter! ♡
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.
> 
> If you listen to songs while reading, I guess I'd suggest you to listen to Halsey's [Gasoline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRHNi3QfFlE) and Marilyn Manson's [Threats of Romance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgH1zQBmv1Q) while reading. I wrote this chapter listening to those songs mostly!

“Will you finally explain what you meant by that?” groaned Ruki, his arms crossed over his chest, sitting in the passenger seat of Uruha’s sports car. 

Uruha quickly glanced from the corner of the eye at the prostitute before focusing back on the road. He had been quite surprised to see the smaller blond get into the car, after all he did seem quite reluctant to be alone with him, but the business man assumed it was because Ruki was curious and confused by the situation with Reita.

“Isn’t it obvious?” asked the honey blond with a sigh.

Ruki only stared at him with an eyebrow raised inquisitively.

“Ruki,” sighed Uruha as they drove in the private car park of his building. “If I ask you what you felt for Reita back then, will you be honest with me?”

The prostitute looked away.

“Why does it matter?” muttered the blond, clutching his bag.

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Do you?” retorted Ruki, glaring at the honey blond.

Uruha didn’t reply as he parked the car. In a way he didn’t really have to ask because he already knew the answer to his question, but he somehow needed to hear it from Ruki’s mouth. He knew very well how Reita felt about Ruki five years ago, and he was pretty sure he had guessed Ruki’s feelings right, too, but he just had to hear him say it, just once.

“Why do you have to bring this up?” sighed the prostitute, getting out of the car.

“Just answer,” said the business man, leading the way to the lift. “Please,” he added, noticing the disapproving look Ruki was giving him.

“Uruha…” started the blond, putting on his hat. “There’s nothing much to say, I was with you back then.”

“Can’t you just tell me the truth for once?” asked Uruha, pressing on his floor button after scanning a card.

“What do you mean **_for once_**?” frowned the other, his gaze hardening.

“I won’t bring it up again, just say it, please.”

The prostitute stared at his ex-boyfriend, taken aback by his behaviour. It wasn’t like him to ask things this way. He usually would demand answers, and never would he ever say please. He shouldn’t even care about it, it was in the past, why did Ruki’s feelings for Reita still matter to the honey blond? Five years had passed.

“I…” the prostitute breathed in, staring at the digits above the lift’s doors as it went up. “I guess I liked him more than I should have…” he whispered, twisting his hands.

“Liked him, huh?”

Ruki could feel the other’s eyes in his back, and he didn’t dare turn around to look at him. Moreover, that tone in the honey blond’s voice… He almost sounded hurt, if that was even possible.

“You got your answer,” he uttered, looking down at his feet.

Uruha observed the way the other’s shoulders had tensed while he twisted his hands, looking down. His heart had clenched when Ruki had finally answered his question, and he wished he could take out his hurt on the other, but at the same time, who was he kidding? In a way it made sense that Ruki had ended up falling for Reita, because while Uruha mostly used his boyfriend at the time for his own benefit, Reita truly cared about him. At the time, Ruki had no clue what effect he had on people, but Uruha was well aware of it. He had seen the look in his former best friend’s eyes when he had first seen Ruki, the only reason why Reita hadn’t gone after him was out of respect for Uruha. However, even then, Ruki had somehow ended up falling for Reita, and Reita had had a hard time keeping his feelings in check.

He shook his head, walking past the smaller blond when the doors opened.

“Well, let’s say that those feelings sort of are part of the reason why Reita and I grew apart,” he said, inviting the other in.

Ruki stared at the business man with wide eyes, surprised by how calm he reacted, before following him inside what appeared to be the penthouse.

“Of course you have to live in a penthouse,” snorted the prostitute, trying to ignore the way the other looked at him.

Instead he looked around, nodding his head in approval at the style of the other’s place. The ground was in black marble and the walls white, decorated with some pieces of art Ruki knew were probably worth a few thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars. One wall was a big floor-to-ceiling window, offering a beautiful view of the city. The more he looked around, the more the prostitute noticed a pattern in the style of the other’s penthouse, all was monochromatic, the only colours coming from the paintings on the walls and the few plants around the place. He could only guess the spiralling staircase on the right near the window led to the bedroom and the bathroom as those were rooms he hadn’t spotted downstairs.

As much as he could see himself living in a place like this, it felt cold, uninhabited. Nothing was out of place, even the cushions on the couch seemed to have been placed there meticulously.

He turned around when he heard glasses clattering. Uruha had come back from the kitchen with two glasses of wine and a bottle.

“Shouldn’t you actually go back to work?” asked the blond, joining the other on the white leather couch.

“I called my PA, I didn’t have important meetings today,” replied Uruha while he poured wine in both glasses. “I’ll just read the reports.”

“Must be nice to be in charge,” said the prostitute, absent-mindedly taking the glass he was offered.

“Aren’t you too?”

Ruki blinked a few times, noticing he had said it out loud. At Uruha’s question he shook his head, staring at the red liquid in his glass.

“It’s not the same,” he replied, taking a sip.

The honey blond hummed in response, observing the other man as he got more comfortable in the couch. He had taken off his hat, his jacket and his high-heeled boots, which had made Uruha realise that Ruki really hadn’t grown much in five years. He hadn’t really noticed it when they were at Aoi’s place, but now he did.

“Anyway, will you tell me what happened with Reita? For two years everything was fine after all, so those feelings can’t explain it completely,” he said, looking up at Uruha.

“Well…”

“Or did you actually tell him what happened to me? Because then I’d understand that he hates you,” continued the smaller blond, quirking an eyebrow up.

“I never told him,” sighed Uruha, putting his glass of wine down on the glass coffee table. “But he blamed me for you leaving without a word, and I suppose that he somehow guessed that I had done something to you, something so bad you didn’t dare show yourself to anyone, didn’t say goodbye…”

Ruki put his glass down too, then crossed his arms over his chest.

“Do you even know what I looked like when I was discharged?” he asked.

Uruha looked away, not wanting to cross the other’s amber eyes. Of course he did, he had asked a doctor, or should he say bribed him considering he wasn’t family, to keep him informed of his ex-boyfriend’s state. He knew pretty much everything there was to know about it.

“Aoi doesn’t really lie when he says he saved me, because he did,” explained Ruki, folding his legs under him. “I was this close to completely giving up,” he continued, playing with one of his rings. “They left me in a state… You can’t even imagine, Kouyou…” he whispered, not even noticing he had used the other’s real name. “No matter how much I hated you after it, I wouldn’t have wished it upon you.”

“I didn’t think it would get so out of hand,” murmured the honey blond, slowly grabbing one of Ruki’s hands. He could feel it shaking in his hold. “It was meant to be a punishment, because I was mad about you and Akira, I never thought they would go that far,” he continued, rubbing circles on the smaller blond’s hand.

Ruki looked down at their hands, feeling his breath stuck in his throat.

“You should have known better,” he uttered, his voice cracking.

“I–”

“Anyway,” said the blond prostitute after clearing his throat, taking his hand away from Uruha’s grasp. “You didn’t tell him, so why are you two like this now?”

“We grew up.”

“Kouyou,” groaned the smaller blond, getting slightly closer to the business man. “Don’t even try lying to me on this one, because I’ll go to Aki if you do.”

The honey blond frowned. Ruki had seen how Reita was now, but he would still go back to him, no matter what Uruha said. He guessed those two alway had a sort of connection that he didn’t have with Ruki, or that he maybe had lost with Ruki because of his past behaviour.

“We hid it pretty well back then, but there already were tensions between us,” started the honey blond, locking eyes with Ruki. “I knew Reita liked you the moment he saw you, it was obvious by the way he looked at you. The only reason why he didn’t make a move on you was me, because at first he thought we were good together, good **_to each other_** ,” he explained, a sad smile stretching his lips. “At the beginning it was the case, I believe, but we both know how things went down,” he said.

“We were good together, I can’t say it was all bad because I would be lying then, but you changed at some point, you became… heartless,” replied Ruki, noticing how the other seemed to slightly wince at that statement.

“There’s nothing that can excuse what I did to you, I was an arsehole, I know it,” said Uruha, shrugging. “But seeing you two hang out together more and more, on your own, only worsened it.”

The prostitute slightly scoffed, he had seen it coming, Uruha’s possessiveness obviously had a role to play in this.

“It could have gone unnoticed if it weren’t for people starting gossiping, saying that you and Aki were meeting at night, when you thought nobody would see you,” continued the honey blond.

“But we never–”

“I know,” interrupted Uruha, shaking his head. “But trust me, when you barely see your boyfriend, and that when you do he’s oddly close to your best friend, those things get to you, especially when you’re possessive like me. And when your best friend starts talking about your boyfriend in a way…” he heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “People knew Aki was in love with you, Taka, they all knew it.”

The smaller blond’s eyes widened.

“College students aren’t any better than high schoolers, we weren’t more mature than you,” stated the business man, leaning back on the couch.

“So what? Your obsessive jealousy and possessiveness made you pay people to kidnap me, torture me and rape me?” growled the prostitute, glaring at the other. “I was gone for three months, Kouyou, _**three months**_ of my life I’ll never get back.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be that way,” replied the honey blond, turning his head to look at Ruki. “They were supposed to give you a scare, but they weren’t supposed to hurt you in any way.”

“Good job with that,” spat the smaller man. “And what were you doing during those three months, huh? You could have gotten me back before anything too bad happened,” he yelled, punching the other.

All the emotions he’d locked down the past five years were breaking through the walls he had put up. He wasn’t even sure what he felt at the moment, rage, sadness, disbelief? He couldn’t tell.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” he choked, tears burning his eyes while he continued hitting the other on the chest.

Uruha only stared at his former boyfriend, feeling his heart clench at how broken the other looked. It was all a façade, he had guessed it right the first night. That image of a proud and heartless prostitute who always looked beyond perfect, it was all fake. The truth was that he was broken, and he never had managed to put the pieces back together, to heal his wounds.

He didn’t know how long it lasted, but at some point Ruki’s punches weakened, his cries too. He just sat there, his head hanging low, his shaky hands clenched into fists on Uruha’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, slowly taking Ruki’s frail body in his arms, hugging him.

He knew there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, that would bring back what the other had lost back then. He could only apologise, hoping that someday it would be enough for the prostitute, and that he would forgive him. The truth was that Uruha had spent those three months looking for Ruki, realising too late what he had done to his boyfriend, but he was pretty sure the smaller blond wouldn’t believe him if he told him that. He had been too late after all, it didn’t matter if he had searched for him.

“We loved you too much for our own good as well as for yours,” he murmured in the other’s ear, rubbing his back soothingly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it was pretty obvious that something like this had happened to Ruki when he was younger, but then again, I'm writing this so it might just be me, haha.  
> Did you expect this? And, especially, did you expect this turn of events?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a native speaker.
> 
> Ok this was mostly written while listening to [Lie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJInswpIqwk) By Halsey.

_The raven softly groaned, rolling on his side when he felt that the space next to him was empty but still slightly warm._

_“Kou..?” he uttered, his voice still gruff from sleep, and slowly opened his eyes._

_“Shh, go back to sleep.”_

_The chestnut-brown-haired young man came into his vision, smiling apologetically at him._

_“What are you doing?” asked the small raven curled up under the covers. “Come back to bed.”_

_“I’m sorry Taka, I’ve to go,” sighed the other, putting his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans._

_Takanori frowned, slowly sitting up, and only then noticed that his boyfriend was completely dressed._

_“Why? You promised we’d cuddle in bed and spend the day together,” he said, shivering as the cold temperature of the room hit him. He hated winter so much._

_“I know what I said,” replied Kouyou, sitting on the edge of the bed. “But my father called, he wants to meet with me in an hour,” he explained, stroking the other’s cheek. “You know how he is, I can’t say no to him.”_

_The raven looked down at his hands, clutching the covers. He knew he didn’t have a say in this matter, but it still pained him that, once again, his boyfriend wouldn’t be able to keep up his promise._

_“Just go back to sleep, babe, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” whispered Kouyou, kissing him softly on the lips before standing up._

_Takanori looked away, not buying what the other was telling him._

_“You always say that,” he muttered, laying down and turning his back to the other._

_Kouyou stared for a few seconds at his boyfriend before he grabbed his phone on the nightstand and walked out of the room, heaving a heavy sigh as he did so._

 

* * *

 

_“Taka?” The raven looked over his shoulder when he heard his name._

_He had woken up an hour ago and had already downed at least half a litre of coffee. Now he was sitting in the living room, watching the television absent-mindedly._

_“Good morning, Aki,” he greeted the brunet, a shy smile stretching his rosy lips._

_“I thought you’d left earlier,” said Akira, stifling a yawn while he scratched the back of his head._

_“You must have heard Kouyou,” sighed the raven, going to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee for his boyfriend’s best friend._

_He walked back in the living room to see him already seated on the couch, still apparently half asleep as the raven noticed how his head slightly lulled to the back._

_“Here you go,” he said, handing him the cup._

_“Oh, thanks,” the brunet seemed surprised, but welcomed the drink with a big smile._

_Takanori softly smiled in return, sitting next to the other. He grabbed the blanket that he had been using to stay warm when he’d woken up and spread it over him and Akira, curling up under it. He really hated how cold it was lately, he was wearing sweatpants, a t-shirt and one of Kouyou’s hoodies over it, and he still felt cold._

_“You really hate winter, don’t you?” chuckled Akira, wrapping an arm around the teenager’s shoulders, bringing him closer to him. He rubbed Takanori’s left arm while he held his cup in the other hand, taking a sip._

_“Because you like it?” groaned the raven with a glare, getting more comfortable against the other._

_“Well, it’s a nice weather to cuddle,” replied the brunet._

_Takanori looked away at those words, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He hated the way his heart rate had suddenly picked up, especially that it wasn’t his boyfriend that was causing him to feel this flustered._

_“Are you blushing?”_

_“Shut up,” mumbled the raven, burying his face in the blanket._

_“How cute,” chuckled Akira, smiling fondly at the blushing teenager._

_“Akiiii,” whined Takanori, slapping him on the chest._

_The other’s childish behaviour made the college student laugh, although it slowly died down in his throat. He knew this was wrong, flirting with his best friend’s boyfriend… However he couldn’t quite stop himself, especially when he could see that his feelings weren’t exactly unrequited. Kouyou and Takanori had been together for two years, but Akira had noticed how their relationship had changed, and while both of them behaved like nothing was going on, the brunet knew perfectly what his best friend was doing to his younger lover, what he was making him do. The truth was, Takanori shouldn’t even have been involved with them. The raven was sixteen, soon seventeen, while Kouyou and Akira were twenty-four, they almost were from different worlds._

_Sometimes Akira even wondered if Takanori really knew what it was like to hang out with teenagers considering how much time he spent around the college campus. He knew Takanori didn’t exactly fit in anywhere. For example he was too feminine to his parents’ liking, he didn’t have the ambition to take over the family business after his studies, his head filled with dreams of working in the fashion industry instead. Akira had already met the teenager’s parents, his own parents had had a business dinner with them and Akira had been requested to join, as well as Takanori. It had been painfully obvious how they tried to push everything on their only son, and how disappointed they were in the end, because as polite as Takanori was, he couldn’t hide the fact that he didn’t care, even Akira’s parents had picked up on it. Takanori hid it all behind a mask, a beautiful mask, but there were some cracks here and there. To the brunet’s dismay, his parents also had noticed their son’s infatuation with the younger boy, which had made Akira splutter in a mix of shock and disbelief. He had denied it as much as he could, although he knew his parents could see right through him in this matter. They didn’t judge, but that was only because they had no idea Takanori actually was Kouyou’s boyfriend._

_Akira looked up at the ceiling, heaving a sigh. This was so wrong._

_“Why are you still with him?” he ended up uttering, putting down his cup on the coffee table, not letting go of the teenager._

_Takanori froze in the other’s hold, his breath caught in his throat._

_“Aki…”_

_“I’m serious, Taka, why are you still with him?” he insisted, now looking down at the other, locking eyes with his amber orbs._

_“Because I love him,” replied the raven, although Akira couldn’t quite see the spark there used to be in those eyes when the teenager talked about his boyfriend._

_“Do you now, really?”_

_“Please, Aki, don't push it. I do love him,” sighed the teenager, looking away, unable to bear what he could very well see in the other’s chocolate-brown eyes. Those feelings, they shouldn’t exist, he knew it very well, but his heart still skipped a beat each time he caught Akira looking at him that way, and he hated himself for that, he hated himself for how he felt when Akira’s attention was on him._

_“What you want isn’t what Kouyou’s giving you, what you **need** isn’t what he’s giving you, we both know it, Taka,” stated the brunet._

_“No, you don’t know what I need,” replied the raven, clenching the blanket._

_“I know it’s not what he’s forcing you to do,” retorted the other, gritting his teeth. “I know what he’s doing, Taka,” he said, the raven gaping at him when the words left his lips. “You two think you’re discreet, that I won’t notice anything, but people still talk. They might not name names, but I’m not dumb.”_

_Takanori tried to get out of the other’s embrace, but Akira’s grip on him had tightened, so much that the raven had the feeling he would be bruised afterwards. The brunet just didn’t seem to want to let go of him._

_“You’re just jealous because Kouyou didn’t make you the offer,” he finally said, maybe harsher than intended._

_“What?” Akira’s eyes widened at the teenager’s words._

_“No need to lie, Aki,” said the raven, slowly shifting in his spot before throwing a leg over the college student’s lap, then straddling him. He grabbed his hands, forcing him to place them on his hips, under all the layers of clothing he wore. “We both know what you want. You might act like you’re better than everyone else, but the truth is, you’re not,” he continued, now cupping the other’s face. “You wish you’d met me before Kouyou.”_

_The brunet was taken aback by the other’s change in attitude, he wasn't even sure where Takanori was going with this. He had never seen the teenager behave like this, not even with Kouyou. Each time Akira saw them in a somewhat intimate moment, it was obvious the one initiating it was none other than Kouyou, and Takanori would always turn into a flustered mess when he realised Akira had seen them._

_“Aren’t you ashamed? Lusting after your best friend’s boyfriend?” soughed the raven in the other’s ear before slowly licking the shell and nipping it, feeling Akira tense under him._

_“Taka,” almost growled the brunet, his grip on the other’s hips tightening._

_“What? I’m sure you’ve always wanted this to happen, you’ve probably dreamt of it.”_

_“Stop it.”_

_Takanori stared in the other’s eyes, an insolent smirk stretching his plump lips. This was wrong on so many levels, and he was very well aware of it, but he just couldn’t help but wonder what Akira was like when he lost control. It was obvious the brunet was still trying to hold himself back, the way his fingers were digging in Takanori’s skin gave it away. He probably tried to think for both of them, he tried to be the reasonable one, but to hells with that, thought the raven, as he crashed their lips together. He loved Kouyou, but maybe he could indulge himself by giving in to this little sin, it could stay between them after all, it would be their secret._

_He wrapped his arms around Akira’s neck, pressing himself against the other. He could feel how the brunet’s hands had slid down to his thighs, slowly massaging them. He softly moaned when the other’s tongue thrust in his mouth, the kiss turning hungrier. It didn’t last long, however, for the moment they heard keys jingling, they froze in their spot, staring in each other’s eyes. Takanori quickly got off the other, running a hand through his hair as he tried as fast a possible to find a position on the couch, as far as possible from Akira. He grabbed the blanket that had slid to the ground when he had straddled Akira and draped it over himself again. On the other side of the couch the brunet only sighed, grabbing his cup of coffee, and focused his attention on the television, although not before giving a quick glance at the raven teenager._

_“Kou-chan!”_

_It wasn’t too long before the taller brunet stepped in the living room and Takanori ran up to him to hug him and kiss him. Akira observed the scene from the corner of the eye, only waving a hand at his best friend when this one looked at him. He couldn’t help but hate what he saw._

_“I’ll take a shower and then we’ll spend the rest of the day together, babe,” said Kouyou, kissing his boyfriend again. “Sounds good?”_

_The raven nodded eagerly and the brunet chuckled before disappearing in his bedroom. When Takanori heard the door to the bathroom close, he heaved a heavy sigh and plumped down on the sofa next to Akira, running a hand over his face, willing himself not to cry as he bit down on his quivering lower lip._

_“Taka..?”_

_Akira wasn’t sure he should be saying anything, not after what had just happened, but the teenager looked miserable._

_“He smells like her, again.”_

_The brunet’s eyes widened when he realised what the raven had said. He didn’t even have time to reply that Takanori was breaking down, rubbing his eyes to try to make the tears go away. Against all better judgement, Akira ended up cradling Takanori in his arms. The teenager snuggled in the embrace, his cries worsening while Akira softly rubbed his back, whispering that everything would be fine._

_Little did they know that they were being watched._

 

* * *

 

Ruki rolled on his side, slowly waking up from his dream, feeling his heart clench at those memories that had been brought back by his subconscious. However, when he realised the bed felt different from his, he quickly sat up, looking around in alarm, not quite sure where he was and how he had ended up here.

“Don’t worry, you’re in the guest room.”

His head snapped to the side and he found Uruha leaning on the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest, his face unreadable. He slowly pushed himself off the doorframe and walked to the bed, but he stopped himself when he noticed Ruki was scrawling back, away from him.

“Taka,” he sighed, running a hand through his honey-blond hair.

“Akira knew,” whispered the prostitute, looking away. “You know, he tried to get me away from you before it was too late.”

Uruha stared at his ex-boyfriend, not uttering a word.

“He didn’t know it already was too late,” continued the blond, looking up at the business man. “I knew how he felt about me, I tried to use it against him, for my own pleasure. I guess that in some way, I was already this way back then. And Akira… He somehow turned into you, didn’t he?”

The honey blond sighed heavily, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“I know you cheated on me, Kouyou.”

There, he finally said it. If there was one thing Ruki never had acknowledge in front of Uruha until now, it was that he knew his ex-boyfriend used to cheat on him when they were together.

“I know.”

Ruki’s eyes widened, not quite sure he had heard well. Uruha knew that he knew? How could he? The blond had always done his best not to let anything show when he was with his him.

“I saw Akira hugging you once, you were in tears and you thought I was in the bathroom. That’s when I realised you knew a lot more than you let on, and that there was more between you two than just some suspicious glances,” explained the honey blond, locking eyes with his former lover. “You know, you always had the habit of putting on lipstick, and the night before you didn’t remove it, we were both too exhausted to even bother. The next day, what do I see when I come back? You, with the remaining lipstick smudged, and traces on Akira’s lips. No need to be a genius to know what had happened.”

Ruki’s breath got caught in his throat, his hands clenching the covers. He didn't even react when Uruha reached for his face, grabbing him by the chin, his thumb running over the prostitute’s plump lips.

“I knew you, more than you thought,” he sighed, his eyes not leaving Ruki’s. “I knew that when you got a taste of something you liked, you wouldn’t let go **_that easily_**. What would happen next time I left you alone with him, in our flat? I couldn’t risk it.”

“This doesn’t excuse what you did to me,” murmured the smaller man, looking away, a chill running down his spine when he felt the hand on his chin slide down to his neck.

“I never said it did, nothing does,” replied Uruha, noticing how the other gulped when he wrapped his hand around his throat. “I was just so mad,” he continued, pushing Ruki down on the bed, crawling over him. “You were mine and I could see you slipping away from me.”

Ruki lied under his ex-lover, motionless, he could see a hint of possessiveness in the other’s eyes.

“Do you understand what you’re saying?” he asked, his amber eyes locking with the other’s hazel ones again. “I was **_yours_** , that’s all you thought back then, that’s all you’ve been saying. You cheated on me, but you still considered me your property. You didn’t love me, Kouyou, you just liked having someone who would do everything you wanted, you liked having a **_toy_**.”

“I loved you,” retorted the honey blond, his grip on the other’s throat slightly tightening.

“No, you didn’t, **_I_** loved you, but you didn’t. Even now, you still consider me your property,” said the prostitute, his heart rate picking up when he felt the other’s fingers tighten around his throat. “After all these years, you got mad when you understood I’d slept with A–”

He couldn’t finish his sentence, Uruha’s grip crushing his windpipe, cutting him off at the same time. He scratched at the other’s hand, trying to make him let go, he tried to push him away, but he knew that it was useless. Uruha was already stronger than him five years ago, and while Ruki had gotten slimmer and perhaps even weaker over the years, Uruha had grown stronger, there was no way the prostitute could get away from him. Even his legs were trapped, the business man had blocked them with his own.

“Kouyou,” he croaked, feeling the prick of tears, his vision getting blurry. “ ** _Pl-Please_**.”

“You always fall for the wrong people, Taka,” said the honey blond, letting go of the other’s throat, his hands now on each side of Ruki’s head.

The prostitute wheezed, rubbing his throat.

“I couldn't take you seriously, Taka, not back then,” continued Uruha. “Yet… I couldn’t stop myself from feeling like you could only be mine. I couldn’t let Akira have you. You were only supposed to entertain me, but I got possessive over you, you belonged to me.”

“I’m not an object,” retorted Ruki, glaring at the other.

“And I went too far…” ended the honey blond, not minding Ruki talking over him.

Ruki stared up at the older man with a frown. He had a hard time believing Uruha really felt that guilty about what he’d done five years ago, but the pained look in the other’s eyes and the way he looked away, closing his eyes, when he realised the prostitute was staring at him… It was the first time the blond witnessed him behaving like this.

“It changed everything,” he said.

“I know,” replied Uruha.

“I’ll never be able to get back what I lost back then,” he continued.

“I know.”

“You hurt me,” he ended, softly rubbing his throat. “You will hurt me again.”

The business man opened his eyes, looking down at the prostitute that lied under him. He reached for a few strands of hair that covered the other’s face, tucking them behind his ear. He cupped Ruki’s face, shaking his head.

“I won’t,” he replied. “I just hope that someday, you’ll be able to forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” scoffed the prostitute, shaking his head.

“I know you want to move past this, Taka,” said the honey blond. “You want to move on, you don’t want to be afraid anymore.”

Ruki turned his head to the side, he couldn’t bear Uruha’s gaze anymore. It held so many emotions, some that the blond never ever thought he’d see in the honey blond’s hazel eyes, especially not after so many years. They were supposed to both have moved on from one another.

“And you’re getting there. You’re not pushing me away anymore, you even kissed me back earlier,” continued Uruha, a hint of a cheeky smile on his lips.

“I couldn’t push you away,” retorted the prostitute.

“You didn’t have to kiss back either way,” replied the older man.

Ruki sighed, looking back at his former lover.

“What are you trying to prove here, Kouyou? What do you want?” he asked, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.

“Do you really have to ask?”

The younger man stared at him, his lips slightly parted, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find his words.

“I’m a better man.”

“Are you?” retorted Ruki. “You’re still possessive as fuck, you even choked me when I mentioned fucking Akira.”

“I just can’t believe he finally got what he’s always wanted,” groaned Uruha, running a hand through his hair as he sat back, Ruki still trapped under him.

“He doesn’t know it was me, Kouyou. Akira only knows he fucked a prostitute, he has no idea I’m Takanori,” replied the blond.

“Are you sure?”

Ruki propped himself up on his forearms and frowned, not quite sure what the other meant. Uruha leant over him again, their faces a few inches away only.

“He’s not the same, Takanori, he might have very well known who you were the moment he approached you.”

“Well, either way he gave me a good time,” retorted the prostitute with a shrug, purposefully provoking his ex-boyfriend.

“Taka,” growled the honey blond in a warning tone.

“What?” the prostitute smirked, leaning up, brushing his lips over the other’s. “If you’re so jealous, prove me I’m wrong thinking he’s such a good fuck.”

“You haven't changed at all,” groaned the business man.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied, running his tongue over his red lips.

“The only difference now is that your appearance fits your personality, you’re not faking being a poor, innocent, little lamb anymore.”

“I can, if that’s what the big bad wolf wants me to do.”

Uruha smirked, grabbing Ruki’s jaw with his right hand.

“I prefer you this way,” replied the business man, not wasting any more time as he hungrily kissed Ruki, pressing him into the bedsheets while the prostitute wound an arm around his neck, the other hand already sneaking down to the honey blond’s trousers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't think that flashback would be that long, it's like 2k words! But at least, this way you got a glimpse of Ruki's relationship to Akira in the past, or at least, at the very end.
> 
> I'm betting some people are gonna hate me because they're expecting some angry sex, haha. Don't worry, it's coming!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♡


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